Being an empath.
I’ve seen quite a few articles about this online recently, and I definitely identify…to the point that I feel as though I’m in a Sims game. I go through my daily interactions and I can practically see the green plus signs and the red minus signs above people’s heads.
But I don’t know how to not feel this when needed. I can get all the red minus signs heading my way and instead of saying F*** you (like I want to), I try to assist in fixing what needs fixed. I am drained.
I realized something empowering recently, and it’s something I’ve known and been told almost my whole life. It falls along the lines of, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Now, I haven’t actually believed that in a very long time, because words cut like knives sometimes. They cut deep. Words do hurt. It gets worse as I get older and my family and friends have some exceptionally cutting words toward me.
But I rephrased it a while ago, and somehow now it makes sense:
I tend to rely on others for my happiness and self-esteem. But to counteract that, in my mind I tell the people who are upsetting me: “MY HAPPINESS IS DICTATED BY NO ONE BUT MYSELF!”
And those are the truest words I’ve even spoken.
I can feel the truth behind the green plus signs and the red minus signs, but only I can decide how to let it affect me.
Dogs are excluded. Because how could this face not make me happy?!