I need things to start changing in my life. Where I’m at now, nothing will get better in any reasonable amount of time. I need new ideas. The “system” just isn’t cutting it for me. I need to go above and beyond. And I’ve come up with no solutions. I need a big, long-term solution. Like what?? I have NO IDEA!!! But today, I’m going to laugh about it. Because it’s pretty comical what a messed up situation I’ve gotten myself into.
(NOTE: After laughing at myself, I went outside to soak up some of the rare sunshine on this beautiful day. I found myself jumping and dancing in the front yard with my dogs LIKE A FOOL. It was a fantastic feeling. I have an amazing friend who likes to have “dance parties” anywhere, anytime, with anyone, just ’cause. And today seemed like a good day for that. So I did.)
So, today I had no big plans for my day off. No plans at all, in fact. That’s not good for me, because then I will look for reasons to sleep all day…and I can do that, easily. But it encourages the depression. So I have to fight every day not to take a nap. I noticed that as long as I keep myself busy, it’s usually enough to keep away the creeping desire for a nap. But I literally can’t stop doing something, or the nap inches closer…even if that just means that I continue writing, or cleaning the house, or whatever. If I stop to look at Facebook…it might just sneak up on me….CAT NAP!!!
I’ve had this worked up medically. They can find nothing wrong with me. I think it’s just how the depression most frequently manifests itself.
So I stay busy.
Today, I checked out the hiking trail in town that everyone’s been telling me about, and it is beautiful. Smack dab in the middle of town, a small nature refuge with a view. How have I not done this before? There’s literally no excuse, because it’s not even a long hike, 20 minutes (up) at most. And nature is a cure.